Outdoor Wisconsin host Dan Small welcomes you to his special on-line sanctuary. Join Dan as he compares notes on a memorable hunting season.

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How Was Your Deer Season?

by Dan Small

It's fun to compare notes with other hunters before, during and after the gun deer season. Most hunters have a story to tell, even if it's one of missed shots or other mishaps.Wildlife artist Don Kloetzke will remember his season as one that got off to an unusual start. When I ran into Don at a gas station in Oshkosh on Friday afternoon before the opener, he was headed for Green Bay. Like a fair number of hunters who are also Packer fans, he had opted to take in the Dallas game in person. Friday night, though, he told me he'd be at the Stadium View Bar, which would be packed with female Packer fans cheering and leering at a bevy of male strippers. Don was hoping to sell some copies of his latest print, "The Diehards," which features two Packer fans still tailgating in a snowfall late in a game at Lambeau Field because they couldn't get tickets. If your wife gets you one for Christmas, you might ask her where she bought it.

A number of years ago, a friend attending an auction at a deer farm noticed two guys were buying a lot of deer. When she asked what they planned to do with them, they explained that they operated an alibi service for "hunters" who took time off from work and home duties during deer season, but did something other than hunt. Some flew to Las Vegas or Belize, perhaps in the company of someone other than their wives. Others simply wanted to show evidence of their prowess without the bother of going out into the woods and killing something. The "hunter" simply shipped his hunting clothes to these entrepreneurs, who, for a fee, dragged them through some mud, smoked them over a campfire, then shipped them back, along with a box or two of processed venison and (for a higher fee) a hide with bullet holes and/or a set of antlers. I don't know if these guys are still in business, but if a hunter you know came home with his deer already butchered and neatly wrapped, you might ask him about his "hunt."

My deer season was memorable, but not for any of those reasons or even for having killed a big buck on opening day. I spent opening weekend hunting near Washburn with my son, Jon. We sat in tree stands Saturday morning and watched our woods fill up with snow, but nothing moved, so we made a couple one-man drives to no avail. On one drive, a buck fawn came bounding toward me and passed a few yards away without seeing me. I stopped and waited, but instead of more deer, along came two dogs - a black, long-haired mixed breed and a German shepherd. I shooed them off and later made a few calls to locate their owner. They didn't cause any harm now, but in two or three months, when there may be an icy crust on top of three feet of snow, they could easily run down and kill a deer. Saturday afternoon, Jon passed up an easy shot at a doe a long drag from the car. It's hard to fill a hunter's choice permit on opening day.

When Sunday dawned arctic-cold and windy, however, we planned to shoot something, and so the unlucky doe that walked by my stand at 8:15 stopped a bullet. Two fruitless drives later, we decided to go watch the Packers, since we figured we'd be about the only guys out still trying to move deer on Sunday afternoon. That evening at Angler's All in Ashland, a photographer from the local paper took my picture because I was the only hunter there at the time. Moments after she left, some guys came in with a magnificent 14-pointer, but my doe and I made Monday morning's front page. In color, no less.

I can prove where I was opening weekend. How about you?

November 8, '97: Shining Puts Bad Light on Hunters
October 18, '97: Taking Toms Is Tough In Fall
October 12, '97: Cow pies + nice lawns = algae!
September 16, '97: WCSFO taking a shot in the dark?
September 16, '97: More Online Fun!
September 1, '97: Hunt, Fish, Shoot, Scoot Online!
March '97: Sports Show!
January '97: Award Seeks Good Nominees

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